Growing up in Mumbai, I looked forward every April to celebrating Tamil New Year or Vishu, which is technically Malayali New Year. As Tamilians from Kerala, many traditions in our family were a blend of Tamil Nadu and Kerala customs. For instance, we celebrated Vishu and Onam, which are typically Kerala festivals and we also celebrated Pongal, a Tamil Nadu festival – I thought it was the best of both worlds!

Vishu coincides with several other New Year celebrations across India, including Puthandu in Tamil Nadu, Baisakhi in Punjab and North India, and Bohag Bihu in Assam, among others.

The way Vishu is celebrated was what made it truly special. The night before, my mother would prepare the Vishu Kani, a richly decorated tray filled with yellow-toned items such as yellow flowers, yellow fruits and vegetables, raw rice, a coconut, a brass utensil, a lamp, a photo or idol of Lord Krishna or Lord Vishnu, some coins, some gold necklaces, and most importantly, a small mirror.

Why all the yellow? Because yellow is not only linked to Lord Krishna and Lord Vishnu who are frequently dressed in yellow attire, but it is also somehow signifies abundance, prosperity and an auspicious beginning to the harvest season.

On the morning of Vishu, which typically fell on or around April 14, my dad would wake me up with his hands gently covering my eyes, and lead me to the Vishu Kani. I would sit down, open my eyes, and take in the sight—the mirror and the vibrant arrangement before me. It was always the most beautiful way to begin the day. The idea was that the first thing you see at the beginning of the New Year is yourself in the mirror and the Vishu Kani. This represents the belief that God is within oneself, not just a distant power. Seeing yourself in the mirror is a symbol of seeing yourself as a part of the abundance displayed in the Vishu Kani.

Next my parents would each give me coins as a token of blessings and good fortune for the year ahead. This ritual reflects the sharing of wealth from the elder generation to the younger generation. It is a belief that wealth shared with others will grow and multiply, thereby setting a positive mindset for the upcoming year.

Now, in Miami, I recently celebrated Vishu at home. The Vishu Kani was not as elaborate as the ones many families create, but the thought was there—and we celebrated it much the same way my family did when I was growing up.

About the Author:

Rema is an IT professional whose experience includes cybersecurity consulting and implementing financial technology solutions in highly regulated environments. She lives in South Florida with her husband. A proud mother of twin boys, she is also an active member of the local Indian community. Rema enjoys traveling to different countries and meeting and working with people of different backgrounds and cultures. Rema is actively involved in the South Florida community and serves as a Board Member of the Indian Regional and Cultural Center, and has also served on the Board of Trustees of the North Broward Preparatory School.

That is, until this past December.

LOCATION Udaipur, India – The City of Lakes | OCCASION 25th Wedding Anniversary | EVENTS Mehndi, Sangeet, Haldi, Sajjan Goth, Baraat & Reception | DRESS CODES Green, Bling, Yellow/Blue/Pink, Ivory/Red | VENUE Sayaji Resorts & Spa, Udaipur | Theme: Traditional Marwadi-Style
Celebration | TAKEAWAY Proof that anniversaries can be just as grand as weddings

Destination – the City of Lakes

I had the privilege of attending the 25th wedding anniversary celebrations of my close friends, Radhika Agarwal and Krishan Garg. Though they live near us in South Florida, they chose to celebrate their silver anniversary with a destination event in the beautiful city of Udaipur, India. As Radhika explained, “Our wedding was nothing like today’s marriages in India, so we had an opportunity to do it all over again, and both of us being  Marwadis, what better location than Udaipur to have a typical Marwadi-style anniversary, since there are so many heritage/palace hotels there!”

Shaadi 2.0 – Same Couple, Renewing the Relationship

And what a celebration it was! This was no ordinary anniversary – It was a grand, traditional renewal of vows (as they would say in the US). It felt so much like a wedding (Shaadi) that Radhika and Krishan fondly referred to it as Shaadi 2.0. For that reason, we’ll happily refer to them as the bride and groom throughout this article.

Five Events, Four Outfit Changes, Zero Regret

The events began on Saturday morning with the arrival of guests. Five main events were planned over the weekend, starting Saturday afternoon: Mehndi (henna application), Sangeet (musical night), Haldi (turmeric purification ceremony), and Sajjan Goth (a lavish Rajasthani feast), culminating on Sunday night with a baraat (wedding procession), varmala (garland exchange), and reception.  Each event had its own dress code – green for mehndi, bling for sangeet, yellow/blue/pink for haldi and Sajjan Goth, and ivory/red for the baraat and reception. All events were held at Sayaji Resorts and Spa Udaipur, a luxurious five-star resort with stunning views of the Aravalli hills.

As we drove into the resort entrance around 11 a.m. on Saturday, we were greeted by an enthusiastic dhol player and his team – along with the groom himself! The dhol leader narrated humorous verses while photographers and videographers jumped straight into action. So, we entered the lobby dancing to the rhythmic beats of the dhol (barrel-shaped drum). After the formalities of checking-in were completed, we were taken by golf cart to our building. The resort’s multiple heritage-style structures, complete with Rajasthani architectural details, immediately set the tone.

Mehndi Mania (Filled with Dancing and Henna)

The mehndi ceremony officially kicked off the weekend, with the bride and groom making a lively dancing entrance to the beat of the dhol. The emcee kept the energy high with games and audience interaction. Soon after, the bride’s mehndi application began.  At the back, there was a team of henna artists whose job was to apply mehndi to any of the guests who desired it – and yes, many of us, myself included, took advantage and got the henna tattoos on our palms. During this time, the games continued, and some of the younger kids also entertained us with adorable dance performances.

It’s All about Family

One of the most striking aspects of the weekend was the involvement and dedication of both families. They were deeply engaged in every detail, supporting the couple at every step. As friends, we felt welcomed and cared for throughout. The level of hospitality was humbling and truly incomparable.

A Gastronomic Journey – Iconic Dishes and Regional Delicacies

No Indian celebration is complete without abundant food, and this one delivered in every sense. Each meal featured an extensive spread of Indian, Continental, and Oriental dishes. The variety was astounding – trying everything was impossible – but everything I tasted was delicious and clearly prepared with care. Krishan and Radhika had personally supervised the menu planning. As Krishan shared, “The hotel chef was extremely accommodating and ready to serve our highly personalized menu.”  Their thoughtfulness showed in every detail – from varying spice levels to accommodate different palates, to ensure  that gluten-free bread was available at every meal to suit my dietary needs. I was truly grateful.

Dance Practice in the Hotel Hallway

As in any traditional Indian wedding, there were choreographed dance performances by family members and friends. So, of course, all of us who traveled from the US to Udaipur for the anniversary learned a choreographed dance to perform at the sangeet. Planning and practicing were fun, even though we did not practice very much. We enlisted the help of one of our talented friends in Florida, an acclaimed dance teacher, to choreograph a simple routine.

Our children (now all adults), also performed a choreographed dance, which was especially impressive considering that they practiced for just two hours between the mehndi and sangeet on Saturday.

Sangeet Filled with Bling – High Energy, High Decibel

Once the bride and groom made their entrance, the sangeet began with a bang – literally – with light fireworks inside the banquet hall! Only in India! Our kids performed first, followed by our group, and then lively couple dances by some of the family members. The grand finale was when Krishan and Radhika took the stage for their romantic dance number. The sangeet night continued after that with a regional sufi singer entertaining the audience for hours. Sufi music is a devotional, mystical style of singing designed to connect the soul with the divine.

Haldi – Sunshine in Fabric and Flowers

Sunday morning began with breakfast, followed by the haldi ceremony. Before describing the ceremony itself, it’s worth mentioning the stunning décor throughout the weekend. Each event reflected its color theme – green fabrics for mehndi, vibrant florals for sangeet, and for haldi, a breathtaking open-air venue draped in yellow fabric panels and filled with yellow and orange flowers.

While the haldi ceremony traditionally involves turmeric purification, it has evolved into showers of yellow flowers. Before that, the emcee organized games to increase audience participation with Krishan’s team pitted against Radhika’s team to earn the maximum points. More dance performances from multiple family members and friends added to the cheer.

The enthusiastic participation of the couple’s relatives and friends underscored how respected they both were and showed how they have maintained their relationships over the years. Both Radhika and Krishan’s childhood, school and college friends came in full strength to attend, and many of them even practiced and performed group dances. How wonderful it was to see these friendships that have sustained across continents, over decades!

Royal Treatment, Literally

After haldi, lunch was served – but this was no ordinary meal. The Sajjan Goth featured rows of thrones, each guest seated with a table and silver platter. The bride’s family then came around and served us multiple courses of traditional Rajasthani food.

We were not guests. We were royalty.

After that sumptuous feast, there was no way that we could have gotten through the rest of that Sunday without an afternoon siesta. Refreshed, we got ready for the evening’s final celebrations. Before the baraat (wedding procession), male guests were fitted with safas (traditional Rajasthani turbans). Seeing the young men in suits and turbans really made me pleased that my sons were getting to participate in such a traditional wedding ceremony. The emcee and the DJ led the dancing procession through the resort grounds and eventually to the reception venue. The bride and groom exchanged garlands during the varmala amidst spectacular lights and fireworks.

Honoring the Miles Already Traveled

The evening continued with a moving slideshow of photographs from the couple’s life, with guests sharing memories and stories. Many spoke about their relationships with Radhika and Krishan, and the couple responded with heartfelt gratitude. A highlight of the evening was when their daughters Riya and Rashi took to the microphone to express their thoughts for the anniversary and most of all, their gratitude to their parents.

This celebration wasn’t about beginning a journey – It was about honoring the miles already traveled. After taking the customary group photos, we said our goodbyes and retired for the night.

As we continued our travels within India and during and after our return to Florida, we remained in a high after this hectic and thoroughly enjoyable and unforgettable wedding anniversary weekend. If my younger Mumbai self could see me now – flying across the world for a silver anniversary Shaadi – she would probably just ask one question: “What’s the dress code?”

About the Author

Rema Deo is the Managing Director at 24By7Security, a Cybersecurity and Compliance Consulting firm. She lives in South Florida with her husband. A proud mother of twin boys, she is also an active member of the local Indian community.

In addition to the professional responsibilities of her function, Rema enjoys the multi-cultural aspect of the job especially as it involves learning different languages, traveling to different countries and meeting and working with people of different backgrounds and cultures. Rema is actively involved in the South Florida community and serves as a Board Member of the Indian Regional and Cultural Center, and has also served on the Board of Trustees of the North Broward Preparatory School.

When the Picture Matters More Than the Place

Growing up in Mumbai, we had no social media. The internet did not even exist then. Today, of course, people practically live their lives on social media. I can understand wanting to share moments, milestones, or experiences online. What I still struggle to understand, however, is the rise in popularity of influencers — and wannabe influencers — who simply pose for photographs, post them on Instagram, and collect a flurry of likes.

This phenomenon, so common in Western countries, is now clearly visible in India as well. I witnessed it firsthand during a recent trip to Udaipur with my family. Recently, I was in Udaipur, India with my family. While seeing the sights in this beautiful city, we visited a garden called “Saheliyon ki bari”. As I was walking in, I happened to notice many young women also entering, with their respective friends or significant others. What caught my attention was how dressed up many of them were — skirts or dresses styled carefully, accessorized with belts, booties, jewelry, and more.  I assumed that there must be some sort of event at the garden which all these people were attending. Boy, was I wrong.

It soon became apparent that these young women were there for one purpose alone: to pose for photographs at the garden’s scenic spots, presumably to post later on social media.  At every site within the garden, in front of trees, bushes and fountains, we saw these young ladies posing, while their companions dutifully took photo after photo. It was quite hilarious because very few people seemed to want to enjoy the beauty of the locale – they only wanted to capture their own beauty. The men, in particular, seemed to have a very specific role – photographer – and I imagine that they were being critically evaluated on the quality of every shot.

Life is so busy as it is, that I sometimes wonder what the world has come to, when millions of people spend so much time scrolling through photos and videos of random strangers on the internet. Do we really have nothing better to do than to fuel this artificial popularity and provide so-called influencers with yet another way to earn an income?

In a world busy chasing likes and perfect pictures, I still find myself wondering when we stopped pausing simply to look around and take it all in.

About the Author:

Rema Deo is the Managing Director at 24By7Security, a Cybersecurity and Compliance Consulting firm. She lives in South Florida with her husband. A proud mother of twin boys, she is also an active member of the local Indian community. In addition to the professional responsibilities of her function, Rema enjoys the multi-cultural aspect of the job especially as it involves learning different languages, traveling to different countries and meeting and working with people of different backgrounds and cultures. Rema is actively involved in the South Florida community and serves as a Board Member of the Indian Regional and Cultural Center, and has also served on the Board of Trustees of the North Broward Preparatory School.

Imagine my surprise when I came to South Florida and found that children had multiple such opportunities to perform on stage, and not just through their schools, but also through local Indian associations. When my kids were young, I was introduced to IRCC (Indian Regional Cultural Center) which encourages children to perform on stage in groups. No audition necessary. Just find a group that is getting together to perform and practice with them.

A Childhood Steeped in Tradition

My children started performing in such group dances from the tender age of 4. Over the years, they danced to everything — from Bollywood hits to mythological stories, from yoga-inspired movements to colorful folk traditions. They learned:

• Bhangra
• Garba
• Raas
• Haryanvi dance
• Koli and Gondhal dances from Maharashtra
• And even an ancient Indian warrior dance!

It was incredible to see how deeply connected they became to Indian dance forms even while growing up so far away from India. The main mission of IRCC is to spread Indian culture among younger generations, and my kids experienced that very well.

Finding the Stage

As they kept preparing for this annual dance, the choreographers who taught them invariably tried to find other avenues for them to display their talent. After all, they had spent many hours over many weeks to prepare for this one 4-minute dance.

Soon, we found ourselves taking our children to perform at events hosted by organizations like:

• Association of Indians in America (AIA) Florida Chapter
• South Florida Hindu Temple
• Bengali Association of South Florida
• Maharashtra Mandal of South Florida
• Gujarati Samaj of Tampa Bay
• Sindhi Association of Florida
• Punjabi Association of South Florida
• Gujarati Society of Central Florida

Other vibrant groups — such as the Kerala Samajam of South Florida, South Florida Tamil Sangam, and Palm Beach India Association — also host wonderful cultural programs that keep our traditions alive. And that’s just a partial list!

A Growing Movement

Our experience was of course limited to South Florida and Central Florida. A quick online search reveals so many active and inspiring organizations — including Purbasha and Soorya Foundation in Georgia, Indian Friends of Atlanta, Indian Association of Charlotte, Hum Sub, Heritage India Association of North Carolina, and India Association of Greater Charleston — all promoting Indian culture and creating spaces for children to connect with their roots.

Of course, this list too is only partial; there are countless other associations doing incredible work that may not be as visible online but are equally vital in preserving our shared heritage.

It’s truly heartening to see how community organizations across the United States are literally giving children a stage to learn and showcase their culture and their roots. Watching these children dance with such grace and authenticity reminds me that no matter how far we go, our traditions travel right alongside us.

About the Author

Rema Deo is the Managing Director at 24By7Security, a Cybersecurity and Compliance Consulting firm. She lives in South Florida with her husband. A proud mother of twin boys, she is also an active member of the local Indian community.

In addition to the professional responsibilities of her function, Rema enjoys the multi-cultural aspect of the job especially as it involves learning different languages, traveling to different countries and meeting and working with people of different backgrounds and cultures. Rema is actively involved in the South Florida community and serves as a Board Member of the Indian Regional and Cultural Center, and has also served on the Board of Trustees of the North Broward Preparatory School.

College Admissions: From Simplicity in Mumbai to Complexity in Miami

Growing up in Mumbai, when I completed the final year of school, I took the state-wide Board examination. Results were announced one day a couple of months after the exam, and the very next day was college admission day. Based on my scores, I knew which colleges in Mumbai I could apply to, and fortunately, I was eligible for my top choice college in the University of Bombay.

The next morning, I went to that college, application form in hand, stood in line and waited my turn to meet the clerk at the window. About an hour later, I reached the window, where the clerk looked at my transcript and stamped “ADMITTED” on the form. That was it – I had secured admission into my top choice college in the city. And that’s how my undergraduate life began.

Naturally, years later, “when I was raising my sons in Florida and preparing them for college in the United States, I was flabbergasted by the complexity of the entire preparation and admission process”. Seeing how kids here start thinking about college as early as 7th or 8th grade amazed me. The idea that they carefully selected classes, extra-curricular activities and community service with college in mind was baffling. Soon enough I realized that this was simply how things worked here – and one had to play the game.

When my twin boys entered 10th grade, I started talking with parents of older students to understand the process a little better. I read countless online articles and attended lectures held by the school to familiarize myself with the college application process.  In late 10th grade, the kids enrolled in an online SAT program to help them prepare for standardized testing. They understood the importance of taking the PSAT in 11th grade, and how the national merit program could help strengthen their applications. Over all four years of high school, they did community service, attended summer programs aligned with their career goals, and took the most challenging classes available. They decided to pursue the IB diploma, which included some of the toughest courses at their school. They also met regularly with their college counselor, who guided them in shortlisting their top-choice universities.

Then came the summer after 11th grade. It was time for the boys to work on their college applications – filling out the Common App, brainstorming essay topics, writing the all-important personal essay, followed by what seemed like hundreds of supplemental essays for individual universities. All of this resulted in endless discussions (and arguments!) in our family about what to write, what stories to highlight, what to leave out, and how best to present themselves.

Strategic decisions needed to be made – should applications be submitted as Regular Decision, Early Decision, Early Action, or Restricted Early Action?  From August through December of senior year, the college application process completely dominated our evenings and weekends. The boys wrote their first drafts, which we would then review and re-review, going through multiple versions until finally arriving at the “final” version. We paid close attention to details, trying to ensure that words weren’t overused, and checking that essays aligned with the university’s mission and values. Many essays have strict character or word limits, which meant that we had to creatively find ways of trimming sentences while still keeping the essence of the story intact.

Some universities also offered helpful tips to students on their websites. I think that students must always research the university website to see if there is any advice there. For instance, University of Florida had a page that clearly outlined what they wanted to see in honors application essays, and Johns Hopkins University actually had a page titled “Essays that worked” with real examples from admitted students. That was an extremely useful resource which allowed us to see common patterns among strong essays.

My husband and I followed a couple of ground rules:

–          All of the writing had to be done by the boys themselves – we would not write any part of their essays for them.

–          While we discussed the items they included in their essays and gave them ideas, the final decision of what to include in their essays was always theirs.

I ended up learning about so many aspects of the admissions process, including deferrals and waitlisting. I came to understand what to do in the event of a deferral or a waitlist, how to write a letter of continued interest and how to request the school’s college advisor to schedule an advocacy call with the college admissions officer. Most importantly, I  gained invaluable guidance by asking my numerous questions to more experienced parents, to whom I will be eternally grateful. We were also fortunate to have a dedicated college advisor at the high school who patiently worked with us and did everything possible to maximize my sons’ chances of acceptance. And this article would be incomplete without acknowledging the Headmaster of North Broward Preparatory School who – without my even asking – wrote a glowing recommendation letter for one of my sons to a university that had waitlisted him. In the end, this entire journey, though complex and at times overwhelming, became a shared experience of learning, growth, and resilience—for my boys, and for me as well.

About the Author:

Rema Deo is the Managing Director at 24By7Security, a Cybersecurity and Compliance Consulting firm. She lives in South Florida with her husband. A proud mother of twin boys, she is also an active member of the local Indian community. In addition to the professional responsibilities of her function, Rema enjoys the multi-cultural aspect of the job especially as it involves learning different languages, traveling to different countries and meeting and working with people of different backgrounds and cultures. Rema is actively involved in the South Florida community and serves as a Board Member of the Indian Regional and Cultural Center, and has also served on the Board of Trustees of the North Broward Preparatory School.

A few years ago, I attended an intensive week-long leadership training program which focused on over 20 core leadership principles and how every leader must understand and implement them. One of the leadership principles taught in this program was “Release the Outcome”.  Simply put, this principle told us that good leaders must make decisions based on doing the right thing – without being attached to what the outcome might be.

The striking similarity of this principle with one of the key teachings of the Bhagavad Gita was not lost on me. It was amazing that a western leadership course had this profound Gita principle embedded in it. The Bhagavad Gita speaks very clearly about the idea of releasing attachment to outcomes. This concept is often referred to as “Karma Yoga” which is essentially the yoga of selfless action. We are required to perform our duty by focusing fully on our actions, without clinging to any expectations. After all, the outcome depends on not just our action, but also on many factors beyond our control.

This principle is not just philosophical – it has practical applications in leadership and life. For instance:

• A CEO faced with a difficult layoff decision may decide to treat the employees fairly and with dignity by communicating transparently, instead of obsessing over how the press or stock price might react.
• A political leader might decide to propose a necessary reform because it’s the right legislation for the long-term good of the country and the public, even at the risk of possibly losing an election.
• A manager giving negative feedback to an underperforming employee could focus on being honest and provide constructive feedback, without worrying about how this might affect his or her popularity.

I am not sure how many corporate or political leaders take this principle to heart – too much time is usually spent in weighing every possible result before taking any action. Decisions are delayed, overanalyzed and sometimes never made at all. 

As the Bhagavad Gita reminds us: “You have a right to perform your prescribed duties, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your actions…”. If all leaders made decisions based on the Bhagavad Gita’s teachings, acting with integrity and detachment, surely this world would be a much better place.

About the Author:

Rema Deo is the Managing Director at 24By7Security, a Cybersecurity and Compliance Consulting firm. She lives in South Florida with her husband. A proud mother of twin boys, she is also an active member of the local Indian community. In addition to the professional responsibilities of her function, Rema enjoys the multi-cultural aspect of the job especially as it involves learning different languages, traveling to different countries and meeting and working with people of different backgrounds and cultures. Rema is actively involved in the South Florida community and serves as a Board Member of the Indian Regional and Cultural Center, and has also served on the Board of Trustees of the North Broward Preparatory School.

Stage, according to its website, is an integrated, small-plates experience, inspired by iverse culinary influences from across the world. While the menu spans international cuisine, it’s unmistakably rooted in Indian flavors, with several dishes either directly Indian or inspired by Indian cooking. As a vegetarian, I found the menu delightfully accommodating – and it’s also worth noting that there are plenty of gluten-free options available. We went to Stage Boca Raton for dinner and sampled many vegetarian small plates, allowing us to enjoy a wide variety of flavors in one meal.

The owners Andy Dugard and Chef Pushkar Marathe have focused on creating a lively family-oriented ambience together with delicious fare. After our visit, I followed up with the team at Stage for a bit more background. They shared the following quote – “Family has always been at the heart of what we do at Stage. We strive to create an environment of community with our staff and guests while showcasing memorable cuisine and hospitality.” – Andy Dugard, Partner.

The highlight of the evening was the Naga Lychee Ceviche – gluten free and vegan. This dish featured lychees that were just in season, spiced in a way to make the flavors simply explode in our mouths! The vegetable “pachadi” salad was in my opinion, a wonderful take on a mixed salad with a decidedly Indian character. The Bang Bang cauliflower was delicious: lightly crisped and seasoned with just the right amount of spice. The Patatas Bravas were crisp, well done and well-seasoned. The street corn was tasty, reminding me of its Mexican counterpart.

The Green Chickpea hummus was surprisingly the one dish we found that lacked flavor. The Kai-Kai eggplant was alright, but a bit underwhelming. The broccoli was tasty but undercooked and therefore hard to eat. I have heard rave reviews about the plantain chaat on the cold snacks menu, but we did not try it this time – definitely on the list for a future visit.

According to the restaurant, “With flavors rooted in the culinary tapestry of his homeland, Nagpur, India, and enriched by decades-long exploration of international cuisine, celebrated Chef Pushkar Marathe delivers innovative dishes interwoven with tradition utilizing fresh and often local ingredients that come together in vital and flavorful ways.” This is reflected in the recent designation of Stage Kitchen & Bar as a Michelin Guide 2025 Recommended Restaurant.

The restaurant is conveniently located in a bustling plaza just next to the Town Center Mall in Boca Raton, with several other dining options nearby. The décor is modern, and the ambience welcoming, although it did get a bit noisy in the evening, which made conversation a little challenging. The service was personable and quick, though there was a minor mix-up when a drink and fish plate meant for another table were brought to ours. “A special mention to the owners Andy and Chef Pushkar for stopping by our table for a friendly, engaging chat – a lovely personal touch that elevated the experience”, especially as they did not then know that one of the guests at this table was going to be writing this review of their restaurant.

About the Author:

Rema Deo is the Managing Director at 24By7Security, a Cybersecurity and Compliance Consulting firm. She lives in South Florida with her husband. A proud mother of twin boys, she is also an active member of the local Indian community. In addition to the professional responsibilities of her function, Rema enjoys the multi-cultural aspect of the job especially as it involves learning different languages, traveling to different countries and meeting and working with people of different backgrounds and cultures. Rema is actively involved in the South Florida community and serves as a Board Member of the Indian Regional and Cultural Center, and has also served on the Board of Trustees of the North Broward Preparatory School.

By Rema Deo

In December 2019, my family and I visited Coimbatore to spend time with my cousin and his family. Along with enjoying their company, we did some sightseeing in and around the Coimbatore area, popped into some nearby towns, and even consulted an ayurvedic physician for some of our ailments. Coimbatore is known for many things including Ayurvedic treatments, high-quality cotton clothing, and more. As Tamil Nadu’s second-largest city, it also boasts what South India is renowned for – majestic, ancient temples.

One afternoon, my sister-in-law and I were out and about, heading back home, when she suddenly mentioned that the main temple for the “kuladevi” (family deity) of the paternal side of my family was pretty close to where we were. I am a bit embarrassed to admit that until then, I had not even known that my father’s family had a kuladevi (where kula means family, and devi means goddess). My sister-in-law, a deeply spiritual soul, is well-versed with the significance of different temples and of course, she used to frequently visit our family deity’s temple.

For my dad’s side of the family, their kuladevi is Koniamman (pronounced kō-nee-umm-un, a form of Goddess Parvati. She is revered as a guardian deity for numerous families, and her temple is the 500-year old Arulmigu Koniamman temple based in Coimbatore. She is also celebrated as the guardian deity of the city. One of the prominent festivals dedicated to her is the Koniamman Car Festival. One would think that a bunch of cars get involved here – but no – thousands of devotees come together to pull an intricately decorated chariot carrying the deity, through the streets of the city. It’s the chariot that is called the “temple car”. Attendees come from all over just to receive Koniamman’s blessings on this auspicious day. In 2025, the car festival took place on March 5.

That December afternoon, once I returned home, I asked my sons if they would accompany me to visit their Thatha’s (grandpa) kuladevi. I half expected them to decline – after all, how many teenage boys would want to leave fun family games at home to visit a temple? I had clearly underestimated the strength of the bond between my sons and their Thatha. Without the slightest hesitation, both of them were ready to go. My sister-in-law then took me and my sons to see our kuladevi. It turned out to be a profoundly spiritual experience. As I stood there, visions of my father, his siblings, and my grandparents worshipping Koniamman flashed before my eyes, and I felt a remarkable sense of peace just being there – not to mention the joy that came to me when I later told my dad where I had been.

How did the concept of a family deity come about?  The concept developed from years ago when all members of a family would pray to a specific local deity and somehow started associating that ancestral deity as a protector and benefactor for the family. A family could have a kuladevta (family God) or kuladevi (family Goddess), who is the protector of the family lineage, and blesses family members with prosperity and well-being.

How do you find out who your kuladevta or kuladevi is? Start by asking the elders of your family, or perhaps a family priest if your family has one. Typically, the kuladevta or kuladevi is invoked and venerated at significant life-enhancing events at the very minimum, such as weddings, childbirths, deaths, and housewarmings. 

About the Author

Rema Deo is the Managing Director at 24By7Security, a Cybersecurity and Compliance Consulting firm. She lives in South Florida with her husband. A proud mother of twin boys, she is also an active member of the local Indian community.

In addition to the professional responsibilities of her function, Rema enjoys the multi-cultural aspect of the job especially as it involves learning different languages, traveling to different countries and meeting and working with people of different backgrounds and cultures. Rema is actively involved in the South Florida community and serves as a Board Member of the Indian Regional and Cultural Center, and has also served on the Board of Trustees of the North Broward Preparatory School.