Editorial September 2025

Dear Readers, and especially Newly Engaged Couples,

Whenever I attend a Hindu wedding here in the United States, I find myself smiling—not necessarily because of the union of the two souls, but because of what I see taking place around the mandap. The laughter of young cousins, the guidance of elders, the recitation of mantras in Sanskrit resonating within a Florida banquet hall or a California vineyard—it’s all reminiscent of the weddings I used to attend growing up in India. And yet there is one more aspect. At times, I have the sense that our weddings here in America are even closer to tradition than most of the weddings in India.

It may sound surprising, but let me explain why I believe these facts and a few experiences that have stayed with me.

Rediscovering Our Roots

When I first came to this country in the 1970s, I did not hear too many Hindu weddings taking place. We didn’t have many temples, Pandits, or even a sufficient number of extended family members nearby to do everything the traditional way. Sometimes ceremonies were shortened, or some steps skipped, just to make things easier.

Fast forward to the present—what a change! Now that I attend a Hindu wedding, I find pandits explaining each of the rituals in English so that the next generation and even the non-Hindu visitors are aware. I see families making sure all the customs—from Kanyādān to Saat Phere—are done exactly the way our ancestors had envisioned. I see grooms and brides reading the meaning of the Saptapadi vows.

I remember attending one wedding in Atlanta in which the bride and groom, both U.S.-born Hindus, had asked their pandit to slowly explain the ceremony, explaining each mantra as it was recited. They did not merely want to perform the rituals but understand them. Seated there, I thought, “This is how tradition endures—when our children ask not only how, but why.”

Why do we hold on tighter here?

Weddings are commonplace in India—every season, every town, every village. Given the sheer number of weddings in India, it’s unsurprising that these rituals often become shortened or modified, transforming into mere routines. But here in the U.S., a Hindu wedding is a special occasion, a chance to rejoin our heritage in the most public of ways.

It is not just about the couple for most families but also about bringing the next generation into who we are. Our children may grow up speaking more English than Gujarati, Hindi, or Tamil, but when they sit beneath that mandap, they are learning with their hearts.

I had been to a wedding in Orlando a few years ago, where the groom, who had never visited India, suddenly turned into emotion personified during the Saat Phere. He explained to me afterward, “Uncle, I felt for the first time connected to something greater than myself.” That is the power of such rituals—they awaken something in us, even if on the other side of the ocean.

The Beautiful Surprise: Non-Hindus Joining With Full Devotion

What I find more surprising is seeing non-Hindus—Americans, Christians, or Jews—marry into our Hindu community and perform these rituals with so much passion.

I remember a wedding in Miami that I still ponder. The bride was Hindu, the groom Christian. As the Pandit initiated the fire ceremony, the groom sincerely chanted each mantra, giving the impression that he had grown up hearing them. Later, he told me that he had worked on Sanskrit sounds for weeks, not because anybody asked him to, but because he wanted to honor his bride’s heritage. His parents, who came from New York, said, “We felt blessed to be part of this.”

And occasionally it is the non-Hindu spouse who demands “doing everything right.” In Tampa, I encountered a non-Hindu bride who demanded to be dressed in a traditional red lehenga, to the surprise of her Hindu in-laws, who said she could put on anything. She smiled and said, “I want to respect the culture that I’m marrying into. It means a lot to me.”

Instances such as these remind me that our traditions are not exclusively our own to defend—they are gifts that others also want to adopt.

Fusion, Yes—but Never at the Cost of Tradition

Of course, we are in America, and we see wonderful blends. The baraat may have a dhol player and the DJ may be spinning hip-hop. The bride may wear for the ceremony a red sari and for the reception a white gown. A mehndi night might have on it Bollywood music blended with salsa dancing.

I observed a groom arriving at his wedding in Dallas aboard a white horse, donning a cowboy hat perched atop his turban! Everyone was in hysterics, but no one ever forgot that when it was time for ritual, fire was lit, mantras were recited, and vows exchanged with utter sincerity. That’s the brilliance of our community—we integrate but do not abandon.

Parents, Elders, and the Mandap serve as teachers.

And then there are parents and grandparents. They have a tendency to be the guardians of tradition, and everything is done as a ritual, every mantra recited, and every god worshiped.

I remember a gray-haired grandmother from New Jersey leaning forward to me at her grandson’s wedding and whispering, “Every ritual being performed. Just like in my marriage in Gujarat.” Her eyes sparkled with joy. It is because of that joy that we hold on so tight—it is about tradition, about keeping our elderly in place and our children rooted.

And thanks to the Pandits here who take the time to explain everything in English, the mandap has become a classroom. I’ve seen children who usually fidget through pujas suddenly listen with wide eyes when they hear that the seven steps are promises to share food, respect, and friendship for life.

Weddings as Community Celebrations

Another thing I notice about wedding traditions being different here is the way weddings become more of community affairs. Here we not only invite our close friends and relatives, but we also invite temple friends, Bal Vihar friends, professional colleagues, and even neighbors.

At one wedding in Coral Springs, I watched as half of the volunteers helping with decorations were not relatives but friends from the community. That seva ethos, that volunteering for other people’s happiness, is one of the reasons Hindu weddings in America are just breathtaking.

A Tradition Made Stronger Abroad

So here’s the truth: Hindu weddings in America are not just holding their own—they’re thriving. Many of them are actually more elaborate, more genuine, and more sincere than they are in India today.

Every time I see a young couple complete the Saat Phere, I know I am safe. Our culture is not only surviving because we hold on to it, but also because we embody it. And when non-Hindus join in and adore these customs, it shows something compelling: Hindu values are not geographically, linguistically, or even religiously bound. They are about love, dedication, family, and the holiness of life itself.

My Last Reflection

As I sit to write this for our wedding issue of Desh-Videsh Magazine, I think about all the weddings that I have attended here in America. Each one leaves me more convinced that our traditions are not fading with distance—they are blooming. They are being relearned, reinterpreted, and celebrated in earnest.

When two people walk around the sacred fire here in America, they’re not merely beginning a new life together—they’re carrying on thousands of years of knowledge. And when people of all faiths and cultures take part in these ceremonies, they remind us that love and dharma are not Hindu principles whatsoever—simply human principles.

And that, to me, is truly worth celebrating!

Raj Shah

Managing Editor