Rema’s Ramblings – Thoughts and Musings from Mumbai to Miami
The Big Fat Proposal
Growing up in Mumbai, when I was a little girl, I remember attending the engagement ceremony of one of my cousins. The ceremony was held at my cousin’s house, with a few family members from both sides present. A ritual was conducted, with the parents of the bride and groom exchanging items and gifts. We all had a nice, but not extravagant, lunch after the ceremony.
I looked around for my cousin and his fiancée but could not see them anywhere. I only saw both sets of parents. I asked my mom where the bride and groom were, and she told me that they were both working in their respective cities. Apparently, at least according to our South Indian (Tamilian) family tradition, the boy and girl did not even need to be present to get engaged!
Fast forward to today, in Miami, or pretty much anywhere in the world. Weddings have certainly become elaborate, but even engagements have taken on a life of their own. Here, I am not even talking about an engagement ceremony – I am talking about just the proposal that might either lead to, or itself become, the engagement.
In the past, all the groom really had to do for the proposal was arrange for a ring. These days, the groom may arrange a beautiful venue, photographers, videographers, music and maybe even a professional proposal planner! (Until recently, I had no idea that such a profession even existed!) It could even be a destination proposal – perhaps at a Rajasthan palace, on a Kerala houseboat, at the Taj Mahal, at a temple, at the place where the couple first met, or at any other picturesque location.
There may even be a drone hovering above just to ensure that the proposal is captured from every possible angle. Or drones could be used to form designs in the sky, such as a pair of hearts or other romantic graphics. Even the actual proposal does not have to be just the proposer going down on one knee and offering the ring – there are so many different ways in which the proposal itself could be displayed or revealed.
For instance, if the proposal is happening during Diwali, then diyas, flowers and rangolis could be designed to form the words “Will you marry me?” Alternatively, during Navratri, garba and raas dancers could be recruited to carry and display signs with the proposal message. The message could even be hidden in an intricate henna design, displayed on a screen at a stadium or revealed as part of a traditionally decorated thali – there are so many interesting ways people have come up with just to pop the question. Of course, today it is not necessarily always the groom doing the proposing, but for this article, I am sticking with the traditional groom-proposing-to-the-bride scenario.
Another unique approach that could be considered for a one-of-a-kind wedding proposal – how about doing it at a bridal expo? The couple might visit a bridal expo just to look around, but vendors, family members, friends, music and décor could already have been arranged for a bold and public proposal right on the expo floor! Hey – Desh Videsh organizes several bridal expos every year in different cities across the Southeastern United States. Maybe a “My Shaadi Bridal Expo” could even become the venue for a memorable proposal!
Yes, some of these proposals can really become quite creative – after all, there is so much variety in Indian culture and experiences that proposers and their families can draw inspiration from. I’ve heard of proposals that were like Bollywood-style flash mobs, where family members and friends burst into a choreographed dance in a public venue just before the groom appears with a ring and says, “Mujhse Shaadi Karogi?” I also read about a proposal being flashed on a big screen during a sangeet performance at someone else’s wedding – although I don’t think I would recommend this one, as it might steal some of the thunder from the couple actually getting married!
Coming back to the planning, in many cases, the families on both sides are notified so that they can be in the area, perhaps hiding somewhere nearby, ready to surprise the bride once she says “yes.” Sometimes, the groom enlists the help of a close friend to ensure that the bride is appropriately dressed and has her makeup done for the occasion, without revealing what is about to happen.
Of course, all this extensive preparation assumes that the answer to the big question will be “yes.” How awkward it would be if she said “no” instead! Hopefully, with so much planning going into the proposal, the groom already has a pretty good idea what the answer will be!
Assuming that she does say “yes,” the family and friends appear, and there may even be a surprise celebration afterward. And of course, the photos and videos are ready for the engagement to be happily announced on social media for all to see and like.
From an engagement in Mumbai where the bride and groom were not even present to proposals today in Miami where photographers, videographers, family, friends and perhaps even a drone are all there to witness the moment – how times have changed! I’ve heard of the big fat wedding, and now that seems to have extended to the big fat proposal!
About the Author:
Rema is an IT professional whose experience includes cybersecurity consulting and implementing financial technology solutions in highly regulated environments. She lives in South Florida with her husband. A proud mother of twin boys, she is also an active member of the local Indian community. Rema enjoys traveling to different countries and meeting and working with people of different backgrounds and cultures. Rema is actively involved in the South Florida community and serves as a Board Member of the Indian Regional and Cultural Center, and has also served on the Board of Trustees of the North Broward Preparatory School.
